Posted: August 21, 2014 in Uncategorized
I am sitting here on a Thursday afternoon, wishing I had money to take the bus to this temp job I found. It only pays nine bucks an hour but who cares, right? The sad part is that I have a bf who has a car and he won’t drive me because he sucks ass.
Why on earth am I here? Why can’t I just not wake up in the morning.? OH wait I know why it’s cuz there is no god.
Posted: August 18, 2014 in Uncategorized
I don’t understand why these meds are not working. Latuda and Buspar.
Posted: August 8, 2014 in Uncategorized
Is the mother of hatred.
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am tired of being bitched at for every little tiny thing that goes wrong in this house. I am now earning money and trying to help out around here. It does not matter. I am still worthless in his eyes. I despise my own bf. I do love him in some ways.
urgh. Please God just let me not wake up tomorrow. Hah fat fucking chance. I do not believe in God anymore. I really don’t. I do not think I ever really did. I have a hard time believing things I can prove much less those things that others take on faith.
All this trauma merely makes my brain want heroin.
It’s been FOUR LONG years without it. Now I can’t even smoke weed due to being involved in a domestic violence case with said bf. Fucking shit sucks. Someone just kill me now. I wish I had someone to talk to.