Is the mother of hatred.
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am tired of being bitched at for every little tiny thing that goes wrong in this house. I am now earning money and trying to help out around here. It does not matter. I am still worthless in his eyes. I despise my own bf. I do love him in some ways.
urgh. Please God just let me not wake up tomorrow. Hah fat fucking chance. I do not believe in God anymore. I really don’t. I do not think I ever really did. I have a hard time believing things I can prove much less those things that others take on faith.
All this trauma merely makes my brain want heroin.
It’s been FOUR LONG years without it. Now I can’t even smoke weed due to being involved in a domestic violence case with said bf. Fucking shit sucks. Someone just kill me now. I wish I had someone to talk to.