Well now

I am away from Alan. For some reason now I miss his dumbass. Even tho he never stopped yelling at me. Its’ been three days and I am homesick. For fucks sakes what is wrong with me? I just can’t seem to get it together. One minute I hate his guts and the next minute I am missing him. Something must be broken within me. Why would anyone miss being yelled at and told they were worthless.? Why I ask you why>

I ask myself this now.


2 thoughts on “Well now”

  1. Hi Kendra,
    What you’re feeling is perfectly normal. When you cut the ties with someone, the heart has to work out the true feelings. Then the brain has to process to see what makes sense. I think you know the answer. You are a smart lady, smarter if you quit take drugs, you’ll realize the freedom you feel. You have an opportunity to get your life in order, turn your future in a different direction. I don’t believe you want to go to jail. You know what you have to do to avoid jail time. You may not be so lucky next time when the want you to pee in a cup. Is smoking a joint worth going to jail for? I’ve been a drug addict and know the crazy things your mind tells you, the things your mind on drugs tell you. I know you have been fucked over and life has sucked for you at times but jail will suck much more. Get your shit together. Get the help you need to stay strong and build the life you want. I’ve read your post, nothing in life just happens, we have a part. Take responsibility for your mistakes, own them, then let them go. You won’t get out of the pit if you keep doing the same thing. I know your stronger than that. Grab my hand and let’s talk. I have a shoulder. Don’t read this and not respond.
    Hugs M


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